Air Jamaica flight to…..

Ok I have to admit I have been very lazy for the last few weeks with this writing thing. I promise to keep on keeping on but sometimes it can be very difficult , especially with all the things I have to do.

 Here is a humourous account of an Air Jamaica flight I made to a small island on Friday. Oh if there was ever a time I wish I was not a Jamaican was on Friday, October 12th. I was on my way to a small island who shall remain nameless….but I will leave you to guess at the end, where I could have gone…lol.

 It all began on Air Jamaica’s flight 038 from Kingston to Montego Bay. The economy section was so full I was wondering who was going to get the jump seat as there was only standing space left. I am one of those people who like to arrive last on board as I don’t know what the hell the rush is to get on. I mean let’s get serious…you have a boarding pass and therefore you must get your seat. I totally forgot that I wasn’t checking on any luggage so when my brain caught up I was dashing to the gate……it is beyond me how Jamaicans can travel with so much bullshit, so much so one person can fill an entire bin with the crap with no space for a single little grip! As I took my seat, I scanned the plane to see if I knew anyone around me….not a soul (personally). However, this flight made me ponder on cell phone etiquette. Now every man, woman and child owns a cell phone so we should be beyond speaking on top of our lungs to get noticed right?? Wrong!

 A few rows up from me was a politician and family…clearly heading out for the long weekend, despite the fact that the Heroes Day Ceremony should have been attended by all Members of Parliament……anyway…..the said gentleman took out his cell phone and proceeded with a conversation which went something like this:

MP: Miss Brown…..good morning…Minister here. I need you to write a letter for me and copy the Most Honourable PM and another Minister (name omitted intentionally).

MP: And when you address the second Minister, please give him his rightful title which is Minister of XYZPQR.

 MP: What’s that Miss Brown? Yes….correct. On another note I was trying to call the office earlier today and it rang without an answer…is Miss Jones and Miss Smith in? What? Not in? No man…we have to correct that when I get back. I will call back in an hour to see what is happening.

 Well if that wasn’t bad enough, a guy behind me was busy giving his secretary/assistant directions on how to find the keys with the additional bunch to the storeroom.

Guy: Sheron….yuh nuh si di big key bunch man? Look fi it. When yuh fine it yuh will si one likkle bunch pon it….the key fi di store room deh pon it. One likkel brown key…but do…nuh mek nuhbady know seh mi  beg yuh fi go in deh fi mi. Janet and Rose come yet? Awright…so everything criss? Awright…oonu did write weh oonu want pon di list weh Janet gi mi yesterday? Awright..tek care…si yuh when mi get back Monday.

 He then proceeds to tell the people in his row the story about the store room key.  The guy next to me was no better…..he explained to someone on his cell that “I signed the contract yesterday….they know I don’t work for less than $150,000 a day so take it or leave it”

Now people…..is so people show off? Well the real comedy started when I got to Montego Bay and waited on my connection to the small island. To begin with, it looks like the island ordered a trailer load of entertainers or something. I felt I stuck out as a sore thumb as I was one of the few people who didn’t have multi-coloured hair, fake D and G shades and outfits that are clearly available online from a speciality store. A group of 3 women stood up in a corner who fit this description with their cell phone, obviously speaking to someone in the small island:

 Girl: Hello? Puncie? Weh yuh seh yuh bredda name again? Billy? Awright…gimme Billy address again….weh mi fi tell dem? Mi and Billy a fren? Ok…..mi ‘ave it….awright…tenks. My appreciate the ‘ook up.

This was followed by some confusion with 2 of the 3 girls as the one who was writing the info down wrote the WRONG phone number!! Wow….so we are now on the aircraft…..I am saying “Thank you Lord for not making the flight too full”. So as we take off, the pilto announces that it is one hour to our destination and the weather may make the flight a little bumpy…..

 The first air pocket made the plane feel as if we were going straight down to the sea. It was followed by some bawl outs…..”lawd puppa Jesus…ah wah dis pon wi…di plane lick a pothole….mi know seh mi shoulda did stay home….” as well as “yuh know seh people haffi brave fi tek dem yah singting ya!”

Now here is the part that makes me regret being a Jamaican. After landing and going through the not so bad immigration….the customs woman looked at me and said “Jamaica?”. When I said yes she said “Policy…we are told that Jamaican searches are 100% so put your little suitcase up here”. After digging up my mentionables and unmentionables she let me go and said “Sorry…it’s policy….”. What a good thing I was there for only a few hours…..place nice but lawd……..Jamaicans have it hard!  

Promise to the Nurses of Jamaica

Below is the full speech made by the Minister of Finance, Mr. Audley Shaw, in his heyday as the Opposition spokesman on Finance.

The Nurses’ Association of Jamaica (NAJ) is pressing the Government to fulfil a promise made by Finance Minister Audley Shaw, when he was in Opposition, to double the take-home pay of nurses when he became minister.

It was at the NAJ’s 60th Anniversary/founder’s luncheon on July 19, 2006, that Mr. Shaw gave the commitment, which he subsequently said he could not recall.

Here are excerpts from the speech:

I believe our nurses require special attention. I believe that there should be a risk differential that is paid to nurses for the work that they are doing (applause). When the firemen go to work at midnight, there is a special amount of money given to them for taxi; there is taxi money given to the firemen for the hours that they have to go to work. The point that I am trying to make is that Mrs. Allwood-Anderson (NAJ president) has been quite sharp in making this point, that the Minister of Finance must not be allowed to hide behind the memorandum of understanding and say his hands are tied. The fact is, that, even if the base pay is not touched, there are other areas that can be (inaudible due to applause).

The other area that I would put – I would say categorically right now, I’ll put it on the table publicly today – that the issue of sessional work, or overtime work, as more people understand it to be, we believe that overtime work by nurses should not attract any taxes (applause). If you were to start with those two things – this differential for the nurses and not taxing overtime pay – it would have an immediate impact! (applause)

support double pay

But I want to go further! And I hope I don’t get myself into too deep a trouble today. I want to say that Mrs. Allwood-Anderson has publicly stated that the take-home pay of nurses ought to be doubled, and I want to publicly support that position (applause). Doubling the take-home pay of that nurse who has a master’s degree means that instead of getting US$540 per month, she’s going to get $1,080 per month. That is still one third of what she would get … and that is still 20 per cent or 15 per cent of what she would get if she were working in Florida, or New York, or elsewhere.

So, while doubling the nurses’ salary might appear to be ambitious, I don’t believe it is overly ambitious. I don’t believe that it is. I believe that in the context of where you are starting from, it is still a relatively modest claim.

I believe that this is something that I would like to give the commitment that, as Minister of Finance, this would have to be just the starting position, just the starting position, doubling the salary of nurses!

And I’m going to tell you something: We can find the money to do it! And I don’t want you to be cynical about it. Let me tell you why I think we can find the money to do it. Cut out the corruption! Cut out the corruption! And I’ll give you just one example. It’s covered on two pages of the newspapers today. Cut out the corruption! Cut out the nepotism! Cut out the issue of contracts being awarded to yourself!

mismanagement

Another example is not just corruption. It’s mismanagement! Yesterday, in the House of Parliament, we found that some $2.7 billion of overdraft has been racked up by the Sugar Company of Jamaica. You know why? Because, instead of the minister finding the money either from the Consolidated Fund or PetroCaribe Fund … There’s cash around the place; there’s money around the place! You have the Consolidated Fund, you have PetroCaribe, you have the net international reserves – US$2 billion … There is money, but he allows one company – the Sugar Company – to rack up those kinds of overdrafts at an interest rate of 43 per cent! Forty-three percentage interest rate! As I said to the Finance Minister, it is an absolutely scandal and an absolute disgrace! So, he runs a close overdraft and he tells the nurses, “I don’t have any … (inaudible).

In those two examples alone – Sandals Whitehouse and the Sugar Company of Jamaica – we are seeing almost $6 billion; two billion more than you need to double your salary, going down the drain.

The final point then is to say, how do we finance it? We finance it by cutting out the corruption. The Leader of the Opposition has a bill before Parliament now, calling for precisely what Mr. Christie has called for. Mr. Christie, in his report, has asked that the Government pass a law that makes it legal for anybody … to be able to illegally award contracts to themselves without vacating the chair, declaring interest and making sure that the transparent system of competitive award of contracts takes place.

issue of governance

How can a country be wealthy if one third of our adults are not working? If one third of our adults are not productive human beings, how can we be wealthy, and is it any surprise that we have such a high crime rate? And so, it is an issue of governance, attracting investors, training people, putting them to work and then from that, you raise more taxes, and not borrow your way out. We are borrowing our way out to build up the NIR! But then when you borrow, everything instead of earning your way out … When you earn, you earn taxes; when you earn taxes you pay your nurses. We are borrowing and when you borrow, every year the budget comes and what happens at that time? Seventy dollars out of every hundred-dollar bill has to pay debt! But I tell you, it’s worse than that! Because our revenues are not adequate to cover our debt, we now have to borrow money just to cover the debt, and borrow more money to pay nurses, to pay police. It is unsustainable! It just cannot continue.

So, today I say to you: Don’t give up your fight! Mrs. Allwood-Anderson, you are on the runway! Don’t give up your fight! You keep hope alive! Keep it alive!

You know, I’m glad for my mother. Before she died, she left all of her children with the fear of the Lord in their hearts, and I read the Bible a lot, and one of the words in the Bible allows you hope. And the book of Job tells us that there is hope of a tree that will be cut down; that it will sprout again, and from the tender branch thereof, it shall not cease.

Jamaica can sprout again! And the nurses will sprout again! God bless all of you! (applause)

Source: The Jamaica Gleaner – October 7th, 2007